55 Kgs by the end of this year is my resolution every year. I guess its high time to start working on it unless I want to end up as 30, unmarried and still single, because I am too fat to fit in through a door. A friend suggested turning sideways to get through but that still depends upon my diameter. After extensive research and consulting, I’ve come up with a fail-proof strategic plan to get fit and reach the fifties of the weigh scale! And here, I generously share it with all of you:-
Disclaimers: Quack-doctor alert. Follow at your risk.
1) Corporation Water : Trash those slimming pills. Go to the nearest sink and open the tap. Free medicines flow. Just a bottle, few fun weeks in the hospital with young docs and nurses and hey, that was the most fun way to loose weight. Prefer indian government hospitals, lots of people, diverse backgrounds and build your networks right there.
2) Road-side Pani Puri : Ensure the pani-puri-walla doesn’t wear gloves. And the “pani” and the magic of his hands and whatever he laid his hands on combined will do the trick. Rest of the procedure is same as above. Just a few weeks and then it’s a whole new you.
3) Public Transport : City bus, deluxe bus, A/c bus, electric train, train, flying train, metro, share auto- you name it. We have it all in India. Just ensure you don’t board it when its waiting for you. Run and catch it when its moving. We’re speaking of weight-losing techniques, my friend.
4) Hostels: Most hostels in India are striving for a slimmer nation. No room door service and most hostels will not have elevators so you’ll have to do climbing up and down. So find yourself a room on the top most floor and make friends with the one on the ground floor to save you in case you decide to jump in a hurry ‘cause you ate their food and it started to work.
5) Cook yourself : After prolonged use of the above, they actually stop working as your body builds antibodies to defend the weight-loss goodness in them. This is when you get to the kitchen and decide to cook for yourself. Real cooking, from scratch. No TopRamen noodles or Maggi. Chances are you’ll be lazy and never cook and starve yourself to slenderness.
Try these and get back to me after a year. No, no, don’t thank me please.